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You may flirt with anybody's wife, but respect the ties of illegitimate friendships - unless you have a really good opportunity which it would be such a pity to miss. Don't forget that well-pressed trousers, carefully knotted ties and silk shirts are the greatest of all human values. Never сайт знакомств в нижнем тагиле sober after 6. 30 сайт знакомств в нижнем тагиле m. HOW TO BE A FILM PRODUCER A little foreign blood is very advantageous, almost essential, to become a really great British film producer. The first aim of a British film producer should be to teach Hollywood a lesson. Do not be misled, however, by the examples of Henry V or Pygmalion, which tend to prove that excellent films can be мейд of great plays without changing the out-of-date words of Shakespeare and the un-film-like dialogues of Shaw by ten 'experts' who really know better. Forget these misleading examples because it is obvious that Shakespeare could not possibly have had any film technique, and recent research has proved that he did not even have an eight-seater saloon car with his own uniformed chauffeur. You must not touch any typically American subject. For instance: a young man of Carthage (Kentucky) who can whistle beautifully goes сайт знакомств в нижнем тагиле town, and after many disappointments forms his own swing-band and becomes the leading conductor of New York's night life - which, if you can take the implication of Hollywood films seriously, is one of the highest honours which can be conferred on anyone in that country. At the same time сайт знакомств в нижнем тагиле falls in сайт знакомств в нижнем тагиле with the cloakroom attendant of a drug-store* round the corner, a platinum-blonde, ravishingly beautiful, who sings a little better than Galli Curci and Deanna Durbin rolled into one and, in secret, has the greatest histrionic talent of the century. *Please note my extensive сайт знакомств в нижнем тагиле of the American language. After a last-minute scandal with the world-famous prima donna she saves the first night of her lover's show in the presence of an audience of six million people by singing Gounod's slightly adapted song. (If you would be my tootsie-bootsie, I would be your tootsie-bootsie'. ) The young and mighty successful band-leader marries the girl and employs Toscanini to clean his mouth-organ. Or - to mention just one more example of the serious and 'deep' type of сайт знакомств в нижнем тагиле films - there is a gay, buoyant, happy and miserably poor young man in New Golders Green (Alabama), who becomes tremendously rich just by selling thousands of tractors and jet-propelled aeroplanes to other poor fellows. The richer he becomes, the unhappier he is - which is a subtle point to prove that money does not mean happiness, consequently one had better be content сайт знакомств в нижнем тагиле remain a poor labourer, possibly unemployed. He buys seven huge сайт знакомств в нижнем тагиле cars and three private planes and is bitter and pained; he builds a magnificent and ostentatious palace and gets gloomier and gloomier; and when the woman he has loved without hope for fifteen years at last falls in love with him, he breaks down completely and groans and moans desperately for three days. To increase the 'deep' meaning of the film they photograph the heroes from the most surprising angles: the сайт знакомств в нижнем тагиле crawls under people's feet, swings on the chandelier, and hides himself in a bowl of soup. Everybody is delighted with the new technique and admires the director's richness of thought. English film directors follow a different and quite original line. They have discovered somehow that the majority of the public does сайт знакомств в нижнем тагиле consist, after all, of idiots, and that an intelligent film is not necessarily foredoomed to failure. It was a tremendous risk to make experiments based on this assumption, but it has proved worth while. There are certain rules you must bear in mind if you want to make a really and truly British film. 1. The 'cockney heart' has definitely been discovered, i. e. the fact that even people who drop their сайт знакомств в нижнем тагиле aitches have a heart. The discovery was originally мейд by Mr Noel Coward, who is reported to have met a man who knew сайт знакомств в нижнем тагиле who had actually seen a cockney from quite near. Ever since it has been essential that a cockney should figure in every British film and display his heart throughout the performance. 2. It has also been discovered that ordinary men occasionally use unparliamentary expressions in the course of сайт знакомств в нижнем тагиле every-day conversation. It has been decided that the more often the adjective referring to the sanguinary character of certain things or persons is used and the exclamation 'Damn I ' is uttered, the more realistic and more convincing the film becomes, as able seamen and flight-sergeants sometimes go so far as to say сайт знакомств в нижнем тагиле ' when they are сайт знакомств в нижнем тагиле carried away by passion. All bodies and associations formed to preserve the purity of the English soul should note that I do not agree with this habit - I simply record it. But as it is a habit, the author readily agrees to supply by correspondence a further list of the most expressive military terms which would make any new film surprisingly realistic. 3. Nothing should be good enough for a British film producer. I have heard of a gentleman (I don't know whether the story is true, or only characteristic) who мейд a film about Egypt and had a sphinx built in the studio. When he and his company sailed to Egypt to make some exterior shots, he took his own sphinx with him to the desert. He was quite right, because first of all the original sphinx is very old and film people should not use second-hand stuff; secondly, the old sphinx might have been good enough for Egyptians (who are all foreigners, after all) but not for a British film company. 4. As I have seen political events сайт знакомств в нижнем тагиле filmed as detective-stories, and historical personages appear as 'great lovers' (and nothing else), I have come to сайт знакомств в нижнем тагиле conclusion that this slight change in the character of a person is highly recommendable, and I advise the filming of Peter сайт знакомств в нижнем тагиле as a thriller, and the Concise Oxford Dictionary as a comic opera. DRIVING CARS it is about the same to drive a car in England as anywhere else. To change a punctured tyre in the wind and rain gives about the same pleasure outside London as outside Rio de Janeiro; it is not more fun to try to start up a cold motor with the handle in Moscow than in Manchester, the roughly 50-50 proportion between driving an average car and pushing it is the same in Sydney and Edinburgh

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